Scale Models< Cars and Other Self- Care

I'll admit until a few months I was a very negative and pessimistic person.  I'd argue that anyone who self-harms or has a negative outlook on life is a lot like that.  You don't think that you are being negative, rather you believe, deep down you are being realistic.  You don't dare think that what you are doing from day to day matters, but you do it, because it's habit. Then something gets you down, and you just want to start all over again.  Trouble is you start and you are still in a bad place. You want to be at point a, b, c, and e already and you are still stuck on "-A."  You want to show the world that you have improved and accomplished something of value, and you want to be there to show... come hell or high water, but darn it all, you can't.  You can't believe in yourself, and you are surrounded by challenges you don't want, and believe you don't need. You have no more hope. Should you hope? I feel that, in a way it can b