Wednesday, December 13, 2017

The Compound Effect And LOA

What do the Law of Attraction and the compound effect have in common?


I rather like the idea of what you do or don't do makes a difference in your life.  It's all about choices, and in this regard, the Law of Attraction is at its core about choices. As much as one wants to, no needs to feel that they have control, it's impossible to see something clearly if you do not understand choice.

I choose to be a better person.  Great statement isn't it, or not?

On can say it is the Law of Attraction and they aren't wrong.


Let's break it down. You are stating that's it's you ("I" statement).  Next, it's your choice.  No one is holding anything against you if you don't and you have the final say.  To be, there is the rub- it's future tense, so you really aren't committing to anything. A better person I'm glad you have chosen to be a better person, but would you mind if I ask you what is a better person?

It's a positive statement to say and I do hope you want to do this, but it's a get out of jail free card as far as people or the Universe or whatever/whomever you make this statement to.  

A better statement might be: From today forward, I choose to skip my morning coffee I buy at the coffee shop and make it at home, and save the money from it.

I can tell you right here and now that most people will hate doing it.  Because people can call you on it.  My partner is one of these people.  They are full of great ideas, and intentions and really, truly want to succeed, but you had better not ask them to save, or to plan or to actually be specific. They love to claim they hate debt, or they hate their weight or that people are being too harsh on them.  They will tell you clearly, and in few words that they have been put down by 'the man.'  They could have and should have and maybe if they didn't talk themselves out of something they'd be better.  They are still at the same job (and complaining about it) they are still unhappy (and complaining about it) and also wonder why some higher power isn't there to help them out.  It's fear and their excuses which hurt them the most. They will never want to take responsibility for their in action and negative views.

I'm also like that, I can come up with wonderful ideas and I can make the best excuses you can possibly imagine that you can have.  I'm rather good at it.  It's just me being a blamer and a lazy lady. I'm willing to admit that, no matter now scared I am.  I don't like to admit I failed, and I hate being the one who gives bad news.  If I can get away from responsibilities I probably would to.  The difference between us is that I am more aware I'm doing this.

If that's the case, what about the compound effect?


If you haven't already done so, you'll want to read the compound effect. It's a very good book to have on hand, and it's a light business book, but the same concept of the Law of Attraction holds true in its pages.

One thing that stood out for me was the fact that it's small changes, or choices that makes your success- or stops it.  Sure, you can be all positive and hopeful but this means that your goals are probably so vague you have your 'get out of jail free card.' Action will happen...maybe...eventually...hopefully. You've made your choice. That's the power of a vague goal.

The idea here is small changes.  But the changes you make are because you are aware of them and you want to make them.  You value yourself enough to change.  There is no quick fix.  Hardy even points out that it's not until months or years later that you'll notice something.

Time and again he points out that for positive change, and to make that happen it's because you think about it, and you make no excuses.  You don't blame and you keep moving forward.  For me, it helped.  For many years I was always the one who had every possible reason why something did or didn't work.

I was scared, and I was a complainer.  It never got fixed.  It's as if something was telling me that baby steps are just as important as the action.  For example, I decided that I would write a blog post on one of my blogs that I had left- yes, I had the countless excuses to go with it. (Read: I was very lazy and sacred) So I did just that.  And it hurt to write.  It hurt to think. It hurt to come up with ideas.

The compound effect told me a different story, in it, it showed me that like the Law of Attraction, I was actually in a place of excuses and blame. Much like my own healing process I had to take it one day at time.  So I did.  My goal changed:  I figured out how many blog posts I had published, and committed to doubling that number.

Goal complete.  Doesn't seem as if there was much done, but next year if I commit to doubling it again and I can see some more results.  Now, it's not hard to sit down and write a blog post, and for me the consequences is that I feel proud I am living my goals.  I am proud I took action.

The key for me was understanding that every choice I make has a consequence, even if I do nothing.  Letting go of my fears and excuses helped me grow as a person and understand my own life and responsibilities.

It's a choice for both....

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Hope or Not Hope? (Or the Law of Attraction)

I'll admit until a few months I was a very negative and pessimistic person.  I'd argue that anyone who self-harms or has a negative outlook on life is a lot like that.  You don't think that you are being negative, rather you believe, deep down you are being realistic.  You don't dare think that what you are doing from day to day matters, but you do it, because it's habit.

Then something gets you down, and you just want to start all over again.  Trouble is you start and you are still in a bad place. You want to be at point a, b, c, and e already and you are still stuck on "-A."  You want to show the world that you have improved and accomplished something of value, and you want to be there to show... come hell or high water, but darn it all, you can't.  You can't believe in yourself, and you are surrounded by challenges you don't want, and believe you don't need. You have no more hope.

Should you hope?


I feel that, in a way it can be about the law of attraction, now, I am not a big proponent of the whole concept of the law of attraction, (where you think it to get it) but I am very certain that you become what you think and who you spend time with.  I can hope for better, and want something better, but if I'm not willing to be very uncomfortable for a long time, it will not happen.  I'm still stuck at point A or worse, two steps behind.

Now, I can argue it's because of someone else, but if that someone else still is in my life doing the same things that drive me over the edge, I'm hurting myself. It won't stop until I take action, and for me this will be a positive action.  I've given myself hope that I can become a stronger and a better person.  To stay in the same situation means I have lost hope.  I've lost it, and over time I will become a worse person because of it.

That would be what the law of attraction, or hope will do.  The difference is it's not a mind set, but a way of life. It's the action, what you do to get where you want to go, because you can not simply think things will get better, you have to do them, and then and only then will positive things happen in your life.

In my last example: the person who is negative in your life, who is not the type of person whom you want to be around will protest.  They might not even forgive you for your positive actions.  They might complain you have changed, and the truth is that they are correct.  You have, but you are not responsible for their life, it is your own.  That is where the power, and the hope lies.  You have the power to change you with your daily actions.  You have the power to hope for more, and to be more, that is the power of the law of attraction, you attract what you are working towards.

Others might not like it, but it is your responsibility to change you- and not them.

Saturday, January 7, 2017

First, Forgive

Forgive
First, Forgive
I've made mistakes.  I've done things which probably should be done.  I've ranted, I've raved, I've pushed too hard, or too little.  I've grown, I've fallen back, I've stopped, and started.

I can't be human without making mistakes, and I can't be me without my hangups and challenges.  Or can I be more than the sum of my broken parts? Can I be the one who can take where I am right now and grow from there?  Is there a way I can change who I am, my past and my future?

This is where I have my hangup, I understand in words at least that my past is my past and my future is not yet determined, but I am unable to remain in the present.  Because I am creative, or because I can't stay in the present moment, I have a choice.  In this stage of my life I've learned that my choices have always been there, but the element I was missing was forgiveness.

For myself, from myself.

Forgiveness is a powerful weapon.  You can tell someone you're sorry and go from there, but you can also do much more harm than good.  I always "forgave" people when they would attack me, disrespect my views, or outright dismiss me.  I would always forgive them no matter what.  That's what I was taught to do.  Unfortunately, this doesn't work.  Forgiveness does not work this way.

I was still the one being humble, the one expected to be the bigger person and say "I'm sorry" or apologize or whatever the term of the day might be. Whatever it was, I never felt whole or even happy after saying sorry or asking for forgiveness.  Perhaps because I never felt that the other person changed.  The anger became an excuse not to plan, and it became the reason to hurt.

Frist, forgive.

I would say it better, first forgive myself. If I need to walk away from a relationship which does not help either person.  If I need to stop what I am doing for a while, even though in everyone else's view I am a success.  If I need to rebuild a broken friendship, or a broken relationship of any sort because of (a valid reason) something I know I did.  I must first forgive myself.

My responsibility is to forgive myself. It is not to forgive others. Then move on to my present, where my life is now.

Part of what destroyed me, was the fact I was still angry, still in a mentally bad place where I was the one who would hurt myself because that is how unresolved anger works.  That is how unresolved sadness works.  The pain from it should have been my lesson.  Rather it became my scars.

I am learning step by step to forgive myself.  For myself and not because I need to, but rather because I want to.  Because the alternative is to focus on the past and that is not a way to grow as a person.  It won't help my healing, and it would be the ultimate irresponsibility on my part.